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How to Get Over Trauma

integrative psychiatry

I first realized my trauma issues at 45 years old. I have experienced so much trauma sometimes it is overwhelming. It took me by surprise, remembering repressed trauma and having my eyes opened to all the shame, grief and anger I had been running from.

Everyone in the world has some trauma; as an individual, as a member of an oppressed group or simply as a citizen of the world we live in. These are some of the tools I have used to manage and heal my trauma.

Build A Sense of Safety to Heal Trauma – You don’t have to know the whole recipe on how to make this happen, just decide you want to do it then start with any idea you have. You can’t build a home with one 2 by 4. Safety is the same, you are building your energetic house. A feeling of safety and security inside of yourself. Feeling safe can come in many forms. For me, chocolate chip cookies or the smell of baking cookies helps me feel safe. On bad anxiety days I will bake a few cookies and it helps me to feel better. Just know that focusing on this goal and making it a priority daily is important.

  • Build safety in your home – Making sure the people in your home are safe is so important. But I have also lived a lot of my life with people who made me feel unsafe or who were unsafe. So if this is you, stake out an area of the home and make it your safe space. For me as a child that was closets and bathrooms because they were areas with very few people in them a lot of the time. Build your safety zone. Blankets, candles or diffusers with comforting smells. You don’t need money to do this, pick anything you already have around in your house if you can’t buy anything new. Put anything in your space that will help make it feel safer. And go there when you need comfort.
  • Build safety in your body – This is a big topic and could be a long blog of its own. But, to be brief this has been a big struggle for me. For me, sitting with my body in meditation has been helpful, releasing stored emotions (you don’t need a professional to do this) and sitting lying down sending love to different parts of my body.
  • 3 Somatic Exercises to Get You Out of Your Head Into Your Body
  • Building an Internal Sense of Safety for PTSD, Trauma or Anxiety – 23/30 Break the Anxiety Cycle

Soothe Yourself to Get Better from Trauma – When I recognize the feeling of anxiety in my body, I feel my heart racing, my inner critic is on constant repeat and I have a pit in my chest I know I am feeling unsafe. I will put on the safety affirmations below while I get ready in the morning. I watch the ASMR video to soothe my inner child. Or, if I’m at work I will put on the soothing mantra while I answer emails.

Inner Child Healing for Trauma – Even if your trauma happened as an adult, your inner child is affected. Connecting with my inner child, learning how to soothe her and taking action to let her know I am committed to keeping her safe has helped my healing journey dramatically. You can do this in a passive way like using the Ho’oponopono prayer for self love below. It is both simple and magically healing. I have worked with an inner family systems therapist who has really helped me in healing my inner child. But, I started that journey using videos like my favorite one by Dr. Len below.

Journaling to Heal Trauma – I had always heard journaling was good for you. But I never tried it until my life was turned upside down, when I remembered the abuse and I didn’t know how to cope. I discovered opposite hand handwriting. Some say writing with your non-dominant hand is a direct line to your inner child. It took practice but writing every day I was eventually able to write with my non-dominant hand what my inner child was feeling and reparent that child with my dominant hand. I would imagine if my child were to say those things to me and I would answer the way I would comfort them. I would acknowledge her feelings, comfort her and tell her everything is going to be okay. I have not found a video on this type of journaling but now you know all you need to know to get started. Or, all journaling is good and can be very helpful. This video includes many other forms of journaling. Just choose to make it a regular habit.

Grounding to Help Trauma Symptoms– Grounding is good for any imbalance in our emotional system. But it is particularly good for disassociation. People with trauma mentally check out of their bodies when under stress. At one point I realized I was disassociated much of the time from life in general. I often didn’t hear what people said. I had few emotions because I had shut down emotionally. And I wouldn’t remember big chunks of my days. It happens a lot less often now but when it does I take a moment to ground myself.

Find your power to Overcome Trauma– We always have power in every situation. As trauma survivors it can be harder for us to see it. Often, we don’t like the power we have. Maybe that choice is a very difficult one or one you don’t want the consequences of. But, even recognizing the choice is helpful. Knowing you aren’t powerless. And often, when you choose to exercise your power it will lead you to more situations where you have more opportunities for power. For example, when dealing with a difficult person, you can choose not to communicate with them at all. Or, you could choose to tell them you will only respond by email. This way you have more control over when you get their message. You could set terms on how often you will communicate. Setting these limits and claiming your power can be very difficult for those of us with trauma is our background. So start small and congratulate yourself on your victories. You will be able to see over time you can focus on where you are powerless and or you can see the opportunity you have for control and take it . When you live in this space, more power will come to you. Power to be an independent sovereign person.

Tapping for a Feeling of Safety – Tapping has been very helpful for me. Like most things, at first I worried I wasn’t doing it right and it kept me from using it. Don’t worry, it’s very easy and you can make up your own things to say. I like that tapping is quick, easy and can be done discreetly. I have tapped in morning traffic, in my office at work and in public bathrooms. It helps bring me back into my body and eases the anxiety.

Tapping For Safety

Meditation for Getting Better from Trauma– For me, meditation has been a helpful part of my life since I was in my early 20’s. It has helped give me space inside my own mind that felt safe. And knowing I exist outside of this body and this world has helped me to heal so much. However, if you have flashbacks surface while doing meditation then stop the meditation and I would recommend one of the distraction videos above instead for now.

Wisteria and Impermanence | Buddhism | Authenticity | All Things Are Impermanent | Mindfulness | 4K

Longer Meditations

15 Minute Meditation to Heal from Racism & Microaggressions

Overcoming Religious Trauma as Queer People: A Guided Meditation for Healing and Self-Acceptance

Meditation for Living With Trauma, Ptsd, Depression, Anxiety or Disociation